Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
