Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
