Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
