that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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