I just made out with a guy for $7.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
