I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
