You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
