so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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