i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
