Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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