I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
