Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize