party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
