Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
