i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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