I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
