does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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