Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
