Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
