if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
