he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
