im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
