I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
