dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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