There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
