My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
