Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
