Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
