i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
