You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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