Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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