Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
