Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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