Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
