no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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