Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
