wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
