You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
