i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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