Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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