that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
