All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
