Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You are a booty call, not a friend.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
