Say something about gay babies.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
