I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
