i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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