this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So much Jack, so little girl.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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