I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
so much tequila, so little girl.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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