I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
