You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
