Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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