Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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